Editor Note: :The article was updated on October 1, 2024, to add information about Shari Jordan’s death
The name Dahmer is forever associated with horror and infamy, thanks to Jeffrey Dahmer’s grisly crimes. The serial killer, who took the lives of 17 men and boys between 1978 and 1991, left a scar on the world. But little is known about his stepmother, Shari Jordan Dahmer, who became an unexpected part of this tragic narrative.
Who is Shari Jordan Dahmer?
Shari Jordan Dahmer became the stepmother of Jeffrey Dahmer after marrying his father, Lionel Dahmer, in 1978. At the time, Lionel had recently divorced Jeffrey’s mother, Joyce. Shari quickly became a pivotal figure in the Dahmer family, stepping in to support Lionel’s two sons, Jeffrey and David Dahmer.
Shari first met Jeffrey in Columbus, Wisconsin, where he was living alone after his mother left him. Shari, who recounted her experiences in the documentary Dahmer on Dahmer, described Jeffrey as “weak” and explained how she immediately felt the urge to “mother” him. She claimed Jeffrey was highly skilled at hiding his emotions but was clearly struggling after his parents’ divorce.
Shari mentioned that while she was never Jeffrey’s biological mother, she sensed the vulnerability within him. “What I wanted to do, and what the majority of people wanted to do, was mother him,” she said. Unfortunately, this vulnerability took a dark turn when Jeffrey committed his first murder shortly after being left alone in his mother’s absence.
Shari also recalled noticing Jeffrey’s drinking problem early on, often finding him passed out in a drunken stupor. She even threatened to lock up the liquor cabinet to prevent him from indulging. Despite her suspicions about his drinking habits, Shari never saw any other signs that could have hinted at Jeffrey’s eventual descent into violence. In her eyes, Jeffrey remained a “closet drinker,” but otherwise appeared “normal.” She and Lionel would often visit his home, describing it as “clean” and “spotless.”
Where is Shari Jordan Dahmer Now?
Shari Jordan Dahmer continued to support her husband, Lionel, even after Jeffrey Dahmer’s horrifying acts became public knowledge. They stood by Jeffrey throughout his trial and frequently visited him in prison. However, as the Dahmer name became infamous worldwide, Shari and Lionel retreated to a quiet life, choosing to avoid the public eye.
For many years, Shari and Lionel lived in Seville, Ohio, where they managed to maintain a life of peace and anonymity. However, Shari Jordan Dahmer passed away in 2023 at the age of 81. Her death marked the end of an era for the Dahmer family, leaving Lionel as one of the last surviving members of a family forever tied to one of the darkest chapters in criminal history.
Shari Jordan Dahmer’s Reflections on Jeffrey
In a 2004 interview on Larry King Live, Shari and Lionel Dahmer spoke candidly about their son. They admitted that they had maintained contact with Jeffrey while he was in prison and believed that a part of his soul “died years ago.” Both Lionel and Shari expressed their belief that Jeffrey suffered from mental illness and that his crimes were rooted in deep-seated psychological issues.
Shari revealed that she had always felt a responsibility to help prevent future tragedies like Jeffrey’s. She stated that her motivation for appearing on television was to “sidestep or prevent another Jeff.” She believed that understanding what led Jeffrey down his dark path could help society prevent similar cases in the future.
Despite the shame and grief that came with being part of the Dahmer family, Shari refused to distance herself from the name. She proudly used the Dahmer name throughout her career, stating, “I still use it. I have no reason to disguise my identity. Nothing we did was wrong.”
In a 2022 interview with Dr. Phil, Lionel Dahmer elaborated on the difficulty he had understanding Jeffrey’s actions. “At first, I had trouble understanding how he ended up being this far on the spectrum,” Lionel said. He spoke of his struggle to comprehend how Jeffrey could commit such heinous acts while acknowledging that everyone has the capacity for wrongdoing. However, he described Jeffrey as being on “the other end of the spectrum,” far beyond what he could ever fathom.
Jeffrey Dahmer’s life ended tragically when he was murdered by fellow inmate Christopher Scarver in the Columbia Correctional Institution in Portage, Wisconsin, on November 28, 1994. He was 34 years old at the time of his death.
The Legacy of Shari Jordan Dahmer
Shari Jordan Dahmer may not have been Jeffrey Dahmer’s biological mother, but her involvement in his life left a profound impact. As a mother figure, she tried to offer him love and guidance, even when his darkest impulses were unknown to her. While the Dahmer name is forever tied to one of the most notorious serial killers in history, Shari lived her life with grace and resolve, never shying away from the past but striving to make sense of it.
