Even if every partnership has its share of problems, when the people in the relationship don’t share the same vision for the future, things tend to grow much more problematic. In Netflix’s “The Ultimatum: Queer Love,” this is demonstrated in a way where the future in issue is, of course, moving forward with marriage and starting a family. Vanessa Papa and Xander Boger were among those to appear in this original play in the hopes of resolving their problems; now, let’s learn more about them.
Vanessa’s The Ultimatum: Queer Love Journey
Vanessa and Xander originally connected as high school seniors in one of the most iconic queer ways imaginable: their boyfriends were best friends. This seems to have happened in the early 2010s. As a result, they did get to know one another somewhat during this time. However, it wasn’t until five years later that they (re)connected at a nearby taco truck, which encouraged the former to move quickly. Even though they had only been out to their closest friend up until that point, they felt confident enough to answer “yes” when she asked if she or they were homosexual and single.
This fateful Saturday, October 14, 2017, set off a long-lasting, joyful, love association that, by the time 2021 rolled around, had altered the lives of both Vanessa and Xander. The ultimatum resulted from the fact that the former still desired a life of complete independence and non-permanency, even though the latter had reached the point when they needed stability, marriage, and a fully formed family. “In the reality series, the thirty-year-old expressed that she felt they had a connection that she would never be able to find again.” And to be honest, I don’t want to search for it once more. However, I wish to get married.
However, Vanessa said, “I never imagined a long-term relationship, but I love [my girlfriend] so much.” I desire not permanence. It’s not stability I seek. Freedom is what I seek; a marriage is not about that. Xander was aware of this, but they were prepared to part ways with their partner permanently because they genuinely care more about their future children than anything or anybody else. But when they started dating other gay people who had voluntarily joined “The Ultimatum,” things developed in ways neither of them could have predicted.
After all, while Xander found himself becoming close to Yoly Rojas, Vanessa swiftly had awkward flirtations with both Lexi Goldberg and her “ex-girlfriend,” Rae Cheung-Sutton. However, it soon became apparent that the former didn’t genuinely believe her own “ex” would feel the same way, let alone the profound type they did, leading almost everyone to doubt this influencer’s motivations in general. The truth is that her girlfriend was the only one who publicly stood up for her, but even they thought her actions were self-serving because she wasn’t holding back in any capacity.
Then there’s the reality that, after repeatedly asking Xander to “f**k off” when they selected Yoly for the same, Vanessa did end up getting married to Rae for the three-week trial marriage. We also can’t ignore the fact that they both had sexual relations with their new partners; yet, whereas the former pairing’s relationship was primarily recreational, the latter’s was marked by passion, tenderness, and affection. It genuinely seemed as though Xander and Yoly were falling in love with each other over their three weeks together, which made their relationship with Vanessa even more rocky than it had previously been.
Vanessa Papa is Likely Focusing on Her Career Today
Sadly, it doesn’t appear that Vanessa Papa and Xander Boger are in a romantic—or any kind of—relationship anymore based on what we can determine from their websites. To begin with, they don’t appear to have kept in touch or followed each other on Instagram, and the social media influencer made a new profile less than a year ago “for a fresh start.” Furthermore, even if she moved from Hawaii to Los Angeles, California, at some point in 2022, the latter is still a licenced physical therapist with her office located in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii. Since they’re both single right now, it seems like this experiment just didn’t work out for them.
