On February 10, 1987, Jennifer Lynn Pandos abruptly vanished from her home in Williamsburg, Virginia, shocking not only the neighbourhood but the entire country. She was just 15 at the time, and there was a strange note left at the edge of her bed that generated more questions than it did answers, as thoroughly examined in HBO’s “Burden of Proof” But for now, if you just want to know more about the one person who is now speaking out the loudest in favour of her, namely her brother Stephen, we’ve got the information for you.
Who is Stephen Pandos?
Despite being raised in a cosy home in 1968 by Margie and Ronald “Ron” Pandos, Stephen’s (or Steve’s) childhood was regrettably not emotionally safe, joyful, or rewarding in any manner possible. That’s because, in accordance with his story in the production, his veteran father allegedly controlled a military camp at home with his regulations, had a very short fuse, and was even physically abusive. The fact that there was only a 312-4 year difference in age between him and Jennifer as a child and neither of them liked to spend a lot of time at home explains in part why he wasn’t particularly close to her.
In the first documentary series, Stephen explained, “My father was the heavy, for sure.” “All I can think about is always being on guard… My father worries me, thus I don’t really have a relationship with him now and never really had. Jennifer and I approached [him] in very different ways; whereas she would respond defensively, I just demanded, “Give it to me, and we’ll get out of here.” We were in separate orbits, and I seldom ever stayed at home. Jenifer was away on weekends when I was either playing golf or hanging out with pals. Because living at home didn’t seem secure, I believe it was our method of survival. My mother never shielded me or my sister; she withdrew.
Even Margie acknowledged at one time that Ron was constantly looking out for Stephen. He has extremely little patience… If you were attempting to convince him of something, you just had to know when to stop. However, it wasn’t until Jennifer vanished in February 1987—during her brother’s first year of college away from home—that things started to turn for the worst. Truth be told, he had thought it odd that his mother hadn’t been distraught when she had called to inquire about his sister’s whereabouts on that fateful day, but he didn’t really think about it until 2009 came along.
For Stephen, 2009 is actually quite important since at that time, “the police stated that my parents were to blame for the loss of my sister. I thought at that time that I had to do what was right for my sister because I don’t have any other siblings. In an effort to get some answers, he started investigating all of the evidence that was at his disposal, worked with the James City County Police Department, engaged private investigators, and even filed lawsuits. Unfortunately, all he gained from Jennifer’s death declaration was some peace of mind because it drove a breach between his family and mother; he believed she was concealing something to support his father.
For years, Stephen was absolutely certain that Ron was to blame for the death of his sister, and that Margie was a collaborator by either having sent a note or by being aware of what had happened but keeping it a secret. But the discovery of Jennifer’s original case file, which had been lost for almost ten years, completely confused him because it contained information that implicated her ex-boyfriend Tony Tobler. So, in order to one day bring his sister’s story to a satisfying conclusion, he is still using the data and his own instincts. This is because his goal is true justice rather than simple retribution for his upbringing or anything else.
Where is Stephen Pandos Now?
Given that they generally result from a position of morality, love, care, and affection, Stephen does not have many actions in his life that he regrets, but he does admit that the way he treated his mother was a mistake. “[There have been] moments where the shame of thinking my parents were involved in this moral atrocity was lifted,” he said in the play. But during those times, all of that is replaced by intense guilt over all I have denied my mother. Nobody else is at fault save me. It’s crushing that I have added so much suffering to her already tragic circumstances (since she also lost a daughter).
Stephen decided to try reestablishing a connection with Margie as a result of learning more about the circumstance from both county detectives and district prosecutors. He didn’t because he didn’t want to because of their shared background, but it doesn’t appear like this aspect of his life affects him in any way, shape, or form.
Regarding the 55-year-old’s personal situation, it appears that he is still committed to discovering the truth about Jennifer’s disappearance. He has waited years and is willing to wait some more. The Charlotte, North Carolina, resident is also making an effort to spend quality time with his mother, his two teenage daughters from a previous relationship, and his wife, interior designer Karen Lichtin Pandos.
